“And what is love, in the end?
…Except the irrational desire to put evolutionary competitiveness aside in order to ease someone else’s journey through life?”

Gabrielle Zevin (2022) Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow. Knopf

Found somewhere in a comments section, and I thought it was super evocative:

You can read every book on meditation.. .but until you sit with your breath, you’re still far from going inward.
You can memorise every theory on swimming…
but until your body touches the water, you’re still dry.
And love is no different.

You can analyse every pattern, quote every psychologist, watch every video.
but until you open your heart and feel, you’re not really tasting the ecstasy of love.
Love was never meant to be dissected under a microscope.
It was meant to be lived.
Messy. Vulnerable. Unscripted.

If Romeo had known about attachment styles, he might have ghosted Juliet.
We are drowning in information and starving for intimacy.
Now, every human emotion comes with a diagnostic label:
They didn’t text? Must be avoidant.
They care too much? Codependent.
They’re hot and cold? Push-pull game.

When you filter every experience through a psychological lens, you forget to feel the actual experience.
Let’s be clear: Awareness of patterns is essential.
But when overused, awareness becomes armour.
And love needs your naked presence.
Not your theories.
It cannot be understood by thought alone.
It must be danced with. Sung to. Breathed in.

The Sufi poets knew this well.
They didn’t seek love that made sense.
They sought love that ruined their plans.
That broke their logic.
That rearranged their soul.

Modern spirituality sells the myth: Once you heal, you’ll attract the perfect partner.
But love doesn’t come as a reward for perfection.
It arrives as a teacher during your imperfection.

So here’s your invitation: Let go of the checklist. The analysis. The fear of not getting it right.
Let yourself fall. Let yourself feel. Let yourself fuck it up.
And let it still be sacred.
Because love is not a concept.
It’s not a label. It’s not a theory to master.

Love is a holy experience.
And you don’t study holiness.
You surrender to it.

I’ve noticed my ego can really get in my way, especially when I internalise the messages I’ve absorbed from culture. But when I question those stories, practice self-acceptance, and remember I’m not the only one who feels “not good enough” sometimes, life becomes a lot easier.

Found this comment on a Reddit thread about what life has taught people, this is from a 70-year old:

Sharing 10 Things (13 actually) I’ve finally learned at 70

1. After loving my spouse, my parents, my children & grandchildren, and my friends, I have now started loving myself.
2. I have realized that I am not “Atlas”. The world does not rest on my shoulders.
3. I have stopped bargaining with vegetable & fruit vendors. A few pennies more is not going to break me, but it might help the poor fellow save for his daughter’s school fees.
4. I leave my waitress a nice tip (preferably in cash). The extra money might bring a smile to their face. They are toiling much harder for a living than I am.
5. I have learned not to correct people even when I know they are wrong. The onus of making everyone perfect is not on me. Peace is more precious than perfection.
6. I give compliments freely & generously. Compliments are a mood enhancer not only for the recipient, but also for me. And a small tip for the recipient of a compliment, never, NEVER turn it down, just say “Thank You.”
7. I walk away from people who don’t value me. They might not know my worth, but I do.
8. I remain cool when someone plays dirty to outrun me in the rat race. I am not a rat & neither am I in any race.
9. I am not embarrassed by my emotions. It’s my emotions that make me human.
10. I have learned to live each day as if it’s the last. After all, it might be the last.
11. I keep my aches and pains to myself unless specifically asked. It’s nice to share but only when invited. We all have our health issues as we get older but that doesn’t mean we want to hear a non-stop litany of everyone else’s physical ailments.
12. I am responsible for my happiness, and I owe it to myself. So I am trying to do what makes me happy. Happiness is a choice. You can be happy at any time, just choose to be!
13. I’ve accepted the past, look forward to the future but always strive to live in the present.

After Haiti’s independence in 1804, France imposed a massive financial indemnity on the country in 1825. This “independence debt” was demanded by France as compensation for the loss of its colony, which was one of the most profitable due to its reliance on enslaved labor. The payments were framed as restitution to French slave owners for the loss of their “property” (both enslaved people and the plantations they worked on).

Context of the Indemnity
The indemnity, amounting to 150 million francs (later reduced to 90 million), was demanded under the threat of a French naval blockade. France essentially forced Haiti to pay for the privilege of being recognized as an independent nation. The payments crippled Haiti’s economy for over a century, as the country had to take out high-interest loans from French and other European banks to meet the demands. Some of those loans and their interest benefited private French individuals and institutions.

Why Did the French Military Support Slave Owners?

1. Economic Interests: Haiti was France’s most profitable colony due to its sugar and coffee production, which relied heavily on enslaved labor. The Haitian Revolution, which abolished slavery and declared independence, dealt a massive blow to the French economy. Supporting the slave owners was a way to recover some of that economic loss.
2. Geopolitical Power: In the early 19th century, colonial powers like France viewed slavery as an essential part of their economic and social systems. Allowing Haiti’s revolution to stand without consequence would set a dangerous precedent for other enslaved people in the colonies. By pressuring Haiti, France sought to reassert its authority and discourage similar revolts elsewhere.
3. Racism and Supremacy: The French government and military, like other colonial powers at the time, operated on deeply entrenched racist ideologies. They saw the emancipation of enslaved Black people and their ability to overthrow colonial rule as a direct threat to the established social order.
4. Legacy of Slave-Owning Elites: The French military leadership and political class included individuals who were directly or indirectly tied to the slave trade and plantation system. Their personal interests were aligned with the restitution demanded from Haiti.

Legacy and Reparations Debate
The indemnity and the loans Haiti was forced to take out placed the country in a cycle of debt and economic exploitation that persists in its effects today. While France no longer directly collects payments from Haiti, many of the original French beneficiaries and their descendants enriched themselves at Haiti’s expense.
This history has led to calls for reparations from France to Haiti, both to acknowledge the injustice and to help rectify the economic devastation caused by the indemnity. However, France has largely avoided taking responsibility for this part of its colonial history.

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Sources:
Lettres Patentes du Roi Charles X (1825)
Laurent Dubois, Avengers of the New World: The Story of the Haitian Revolution (Harvard University Press, 2004)
Susan Buck-Morss, Hegel, Haiti, and Universal History (University of Pittsburgh Press, 2009)
John Garrigus, Before Haiti: Race and Citizenship in French Saint-Domingue (Palgrave, 2006)
The New York Times series “The Ransom” (2022)

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/s