Some comments I found:

  • Credentials and money are not antidotes to the lingering effects of childhood maltreatment.
  • Life is a banquet and most poor suckers are starving to death. Many turn their backs to the table and complain how hungry they are and that there is nothing they can eat. They will stand between you and the banquet for however long you let them. So relieve yourself of them by whatever means necessary.
  • One cannot satisfy a thirst by drinking sea water
  • I’m tired of paying taxes to a government that doesn’t represent me, and is actively working against me.
  • The word democracy makes people feel safe…but it doesn’t exist. People are a labor force, that need a kind, but firm hand. There are not nations. There’s Apple, Exxon, and Berkshire Hathaway. Corporations are the real superpower. [Victoria Neumann, The Boys tv series]
  • The entire world is run as an economic machine, constructed with no regard for the collective good of humanity.

Raise Standards, Not Walls

Love hasn’t really changed. But dating often feels exhausting because many of us struggle with vulnerability. And it’s not just happening in dating, it often reflects how uncomfortable many of us are with emotional discomfort and ambiguity in general.

When we avoid facing our insecurities, wounds, and expectations, we end up relating through fear… fear of rejection, fear of inadequacy, fear of being seen and not accepted. So we develop masks, strategies, and roles to feel safer and more in control. The more we chase control, the less intimacy we allow. And without intimacy, dating can start to feel more like performance than a path toward something healthy or lasting.

Emotional intelligence still matters in dating, but many people were never taught how to develop it. So a lot of adult dating dynamics end up shaped by coping patterns we learned much earlier in life.

Side note: It’s easy to blame the apps, but I’ve realised they tend to amplify what’s already there. Things like old patterns and insecurities get magnified through gamification, optionality, and an emphasis on appearance over depth.

It’s one reason many of us end up prioritising chemistry over compatibility and validation over values.

I think dating differently requires living a little differently too: being what we’re looking for. Not matching trends, but staying aligned with our values. We may find fewer people, but at least they’ll be more aligned.

And when we feel more grounded in ourselves, relationships stop being about filling a gap and start becoming a place for growth.

I have the soul of a poet and the mind of an engineer… a disastrous combo for my sanity.

Mirages of Modernity

I visited a city for the first time. I put some thoughts together:

It strikes me as an artificial monument to excess…where refrigerated interiors and arid exteriors reflect a deeper disconnection from nature and humanity.

It thrives on spectacle and subjugation: imported labourers build the skyline while the elite applaud the illusion of “efficiency” and “luxury.”

Its environmental negligence isn’t born of necessity. It tries to come off as ambitious, but it’s basically greed dressed as aspiration. Rather than leading as a beacon of sustainable innovation, it becomes a playground for the wealthy, powered by exploited workers and extractive economics.

Notes:

  1. Instead of adapting to its geography with humility, it tries to dominate it…creating islands, mega-malls in defiance of ecological logic.
  2. Skyscrapers and imported foliage suggest advancement, but they mask a brittle system: socially and ecologically unsustainable, built on finite resources and infinite marketing.
  3. Most residents are expats on time-limited visas, leading to a city with little emotional or generational continuity. It feels rented, not lived in.
  4. Its culture isn’t built on art, music, or collective imagination…but on status, luxury cars, and controlled aesthetics. Depth is traded for surface sheen.

“And what is love, in the end?
…Except the irrational desire to put evolutionary competitiveness aside in order to ease someone else’s journey through life?”

Gabrielle Zevin (2022) Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow. Knopf

Found somewhere in a comments section, and I thought it was super evocative:

You can read every book on meditation.. .but until you sit with your breath, you’re still far from going inward.
You can memorise every theory on swimming…
but until your body touches the water, you’re still dry.
And love is no different.

You can analyse every pattern, quote every psychologist, watch every video.
but until you open your heart and feel, you’re not really tasting the ecstasy of love.
Love was never meant to be dissected under a microscope.
It was meant to be lived.
Messy. Vulnerable. Unscripted.

If Romeo had known about attachment styles, he might have ghosted Juliet.
We are drowning in information and starving for intimacy.
Now, every human emotion comes with a diagnostic label:
They didn’t text? Must be avoidant.
They care too much? Codependent.
They’re hot and cold? Push-pull game.

When you filter every experience through a psychological lens, you forget to feel the actual experience.
Let’s be clear: Awareness of patterns is essential.
But when overused, awareness becomes armour.
And love needs your naked presence.
Not your theories.
It cannot be understood by thought alone.
It must be danced with. Sung to. Breathed in.

The Sufi poets knew this well.
They didn’t seek love that made sense.
They sought love that ruined their plans.
That broke their logic.
That rearranged their soul.

Modern spirituality sells the myth: Once you heal, you’ll attract the perfect partner.
But love doesn’t come as a reward for perfection.
It arrives as a teacher during your imperfection.

So here’s your invitation: Let go of the checklist. The analysis. The fear of not getting it right.
Let yourself fall. Let yourself feel. Let yourself fuck it up.
And let it still be sacred.
Because love is not a concept.
It’s not a label. It’s not a theory to master.

Love is a holy experience.
And you don’t study holiness.
You surrender to it.

Movement, Curiosity, and Depth

I’ve distilled what gives me meaning into three themes: movement, curiosity, and depth.

Together, they’ve become a kind of personal compass, one that keeps pulling me towards exploration. When I make space for curiosity, the other two tend to follow naturally. It leads to spontaneity and a sense that life is something to keep discovering rather than “figuring out” once and for all.

I’ve come to think less about finding a single overarching purpose and more about collecting deep-dive experiences; journeys that keep me learning, moving, and connecting.

Looking back, I think I’ve been doing this instinctively for a long time. I’m happiest when I’m somewhere that makes me pay attention, and I’ve often found myself drawn to places with complex histories and perspectives. I’ve been lucky enough to visit ChongQing, Chernobyl, the West Bank, and the Deep South US, trying to understand stories different from my own and make sense of things. And when I have quiet time, I tend to get lost in an engineering concept or a piece of history.

For a while, I got caught up in the usual things: achievement, comfort, and the idea that I should be building something impressive. But I realised I feel most fulfilled by things that are harder to measure. My work now is to stay curious, to experience things fully, and to keep moving toward what feels most alive… and honestly, to let that be enough.

I’ve noticed my ego can really get in my way, especially when I internalise the messages I’ve absorbed from culture. But when I question those stories, practice self-acceptance, and remember I’m not the only one who feels “not good enough” sometimes, life becomes a lot easier.

Wisdom

Found this comment on a Reddit thread about what life has taught people, this is from a 70-year old:

Sharing 10 Things (13 actually) I’ve finally learned at 70

  1. After loving my spouse, my parents, my children & grandchildren, and my friends, I have now started loving myself.
  2. I have realized that I am not “Atlas”. The world does not rest on my shoulders.
  3. I have stopped bargaining with vegetable & fruit vendors. A few pennies more is not going to break me, but it might help the poor fellow save for his daughter’s school fees.
  4. I leave my waitress a nice tip (preferably in cash). The extra money might bring a smile to their face. They are toiling much harder for a living than I am.
  5. I have learned not to correct people even when I know they are wrong. The onus of making everyone perfect is not on me. Peace is more precious than perfection.
  6. I give compliments freely & generously. Compliments are a mood enhancer not only for the recipient, but also for me. And a small tip for the recipient of a compliment, never, NEVER turn it down, just say “Thank You.”
  7. I walk away from people who don’t value me. They might not know my worth, but I do.
  8. I remain cool when someone plays dirty to outrun me in the rat race. I am not a rat & neither am I in any race.
  9. I am not embarrassed by my emotions. It’s my emotions that make me human.
  10. I have learned to live each day as if it’s the last. After all, it might be the last.
  11. I keep my aches and pains to myself unless specifically asked. It’s nice to share but only when invited. We all have our health issues as we get older but that doesn’t mean we want to hear a non-stop litany of everyone else’s physical ailments.
  12. I am responsible for my happiness, and I owe it to myself. So I am trying to do what makes me happy. Happiness is a choice. You can be happy at any time, just choose to be!
  13. I’ve accepted the past, look forward to the future but always strive to live in the present.