Nick Cave and The Bad Seeds

People send in questions to Nick Cave, and it’s easy to recognise what kind of man is writing back.

Agustina from Argentina asked: How do I make my partner not the centre of my world?

Nick:
I am not the one to advise on how to keep love at a sensible distance, Agustina. Against the advice of an army of therapists, analysts, 12-step sponsors, life-coaches, hypnotists and TED Talkers, my wife and I remain committed to full-on emotional enmeshment, a massive dose of co-dependency, some good old maladaptive caretaking, and a fair amount of enslavement. I am a happy planet helplessly orbiting my wife, the sun; I am her vassal, her monkey on a chain, in her thrall, drunk on her, lost to her. I suspect if you asked her, she’d say she’s the planet, and I’m the sun, but that would be her being modest. Whatever the case, we are better together and a mess apart, fully entangled, all in, happily doomed. By the way, there was an eclipse last night, marking, amongst other things, twenty-seven years of our marriage. How thoughtful of the cosmos to have remembered.

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